


Weiss Kreuz Drabbles

by flugantamuso



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Weiß Kreuz, Winnie-the-Pooh - A. A. Milne
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 09:14:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/637348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flugantamuso/pseuds/flugantamuso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First line from Michael Crichton's The Andromeda Strain.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Berserker

From a security booth Omi directed the hit, manipulating the cameras to scan the area. Aya was stalking through the halls, flanked by Ken and Yohji. Omi heard a low growling and touched his earbug.

"Heads up, you may have company."

A grey streak flashed out of the shadows and stuck Aya. Something hit the camera and the screen turned an opague red. There was screaming, and then it stopped.

Omi scrambled to turn another camera, but before it had completed it’s turn a large grey form with one golden eye appeared on the screen.

The wolf snarled at him.


	2. Binoculars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First line from Michael Crichton's The Andromeda Strain.

A man with binoculars. Aya suspiciously took a closer look, but the man was gone. Mondays were always hellish.

Tuesday was his day off, thankfully binocular free.

On Wednesday he had the morning shift, which meant that he didn’t have to deal with simpering schoolgirls, just one bothersome voyeur.

On Thursday nothing happened. Aya twitched.

On Friday the binoculars weren’t an issue, but the man who had flung them to the floor was. This, thought Aya, backed up against the wall, was unacceptable. He had barely become used to being an object of attention, much less this kind of attention.


	3. Death and Clothing

Schuldig likes funerals. It's fun listening to the confused thoughts around him: who is this strange looking foreigner?

Eventually it backfires on him.

"Excuse me," says the police-detective, "how did you know Hokkaido-san?"

The man is surprisingly single-minded. Finally, annoyed, Schuldig shifts to his left just in time to collide with another guests drink.

"If you'll give me a moment," he says to the detective, fingering his stained suit in distaste.

Exiting via the bathroom window Schuldig takes a moment to distract a waiter who is filling the punch-bowl. The resultant screams make him smile in spiteful satisfaction.

Dry cleaning is a bitch.


	4. Inconceivable

"No," said Crawford.

"No?" Yohji, Ken and Omi looked at him with wide, guileless eyes, Aya just sulked in the corner.

"I could be convinced that you all worked in a flower shop, you're all gay enough for it."

Ken coughed.

"But that you're also assassins? That's too ridiculous to be anything but a practical joke."

There was a long silence, and then Omi said weakly, "You've got us, ha ha."

Crawford glared at them. "It's exceptionally tasteless to play jokes on a man with memory loss, and why isn't Aya playing along? Is he my lover? Or does he just have more honor than the rest of you?"

Aya shot him an incredulous glance and then dropped his head to the wall with a thud. Omi and Ken looked too flabergasted to say anything, but Yohji smiled wickedly.

"Well, actually..."

Later Aya claimed that a poisonous spider had been about to bite Yohji, but as he could not produce the spider suspicions about his intentions remained in the minds of those who had witnessed the attack. Crawford wisely didn't try to pursue the conversation any further.


	5. Midwife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Schuldig fancies himself a bit of a philosopher.

Look how pale she is, he whispers to Fujimiya, and Fujimiya thinks that she’s never going to wake up.

Watch how they turn away from you, he whispers to Hidaka, and Hidaka thinks that he’ll never again find someone he can trust.

She’s not anything like Asuka, he whispers to Kudou, and Kudou thinks that he’ll never find someone to replace her.

Think how easy it would be, he whispers to Tsukiyono, and Tsukiyono thinks that he’s becoming a Takatori.

Such beautiful thoughts, he thinks.

Socrates had nothing on Schuldig.


	6. Subtle

"I never said that it wasn’t a good idea, just that the application could stand to be softened, pruned, completely and totally changed."

"You can bugger off; I don’t need your advice."

"I’m just saying that you could be more subtle."

"Subtlty is for the birds, I don’t do subtle."

"Something that’s becoming more obvious with every step you take. I don’t suppose you’d go home if I warned you that you were in immanent danger?"

"Of what? Being mobbed by little children?"

"I just don’t want you going out dressed like a clown!"

"Got a fear of clowns Brad?"


	7. Switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genderbender.

Schuldig approached the bed and sat down, smiling deviously.

I’m the only one that you’ve got to talk to, etta, better make the most of it.

He was startled to hear a cold voice respond in his head.

If you don’t get out of my head, then when I wake up I’ll kill you. I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth if I must, but I’ll have my revenge.

Schuldig pulled back, startled. Apparently Aya wasn’t the only one in the family with obsessive tendencies.

And another thing, leave my sister alone.

Schuldig smirked. Ran had no idea.


	8. Hundred Acre Wood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xover with Winnie the Pooh.

Crawford had wings.

The ground shook and a nasal voice said, "How come you got to have wings?"

"Obviously I am better suited to the avian lifestyle," said Owl stiffly. He stretched out a wing experimentally, then put it down hurriedly, saying to Tigger, "I sense the approach of a fierce animal."

Kanga and Roo appeared. Kanga only had one eye.

"Just because I'm the youngest shouldn't mean that I have to be the baby," muttered Roo.

"Shut up kid," said Kanga, slamming her tail down on the ground for emphasis.

Roo jumped, Tigger sniggered, and Owl just looked wise.


	9. Vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I.

"You loved me!"

Yohji calmly put his shirt on, ignoring the girl on the bed. He was a no-strings-attached kind of guy and he refused to respond to hysterics. As he walked out the door she stopped crying and started swearing vengeance.

Yohji ignored her, but from a shadowy corner the demon Anyaka did not.

The next morning the Koneko's door tinkled and the red-headed member of Schwartz walked in. Yohji froze in shock.

Yohji backpedalled as the man stalked forward.

"Yohji, I'm in love with you," he declared.

Luckily Schuldig was close enough to catch Yohji as he fainted.

 

II.

Yohji woke up to someone sucking on his toes. He reached down to stop it, and that's when he discovered that his arms were tied down, and so were his legs. Whoever was at his toes left off what they were doing and moved into his field of vision.

It was Schuldig.

"What are you doing!?" spat Yohji, his body, his naked body (oh, dear lord), trembling in rage.

Schuldig blinked, his eyes heavy lidded. "The power of our love knows no bounds; I must worship your toes." He went back to doing exactly that.

And then Crawford came in.


End file.
